April 12, 2007
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My Anniversary
It feels longer and shorter at the same timeYesterday marked my one year anniversary with Brent. It was an amazing night, celebrating and even more amazing year. Like him, I'll spare you the lovey dovey stuff -- I just want to say this: It's great to be in love.
AnniversariesI never realized until this relationship how much an anniversary date means.
In the past
In my last long term relationship there was no particular "day" that was set. It was partially due to the fact that the courting period was so long, it was hard to see where the dating part ended and the actual relationship began. Another part of it, at least in my opinion, was that the person from my previous relationship had somewhat of a commitment issue -- if we had set a date, he would have looked at each landmark in an apprehensive way -- especially when the numbers got bigger. [According to some friends, this pattern had been shown in a previous relationship, so I wasn't big on pushing a 'date']I think the idea behind not having a date is great, you're supposed to be celebrating your relationship all the time, randomly, whenever you want etc. etc. But in reality, that doesn't happen. After a while, you just take the relationship for granted. Similar to Communism, the idea is awesome, but it's not really practical to implement.
Currently
What's awesome and great about my current relationship with Brent is that because we have a date, we have a cause to celebrate once a month. It's not really the number of months that we celebrate, but the day itself. Also, while we are happily together all the time, it's nice to slow down for a bit each month and recognize that happiness amidst all of our daily stressors. Similar to church, as devout as you may be, if you don't slow down to appreciate everything given to you it's easier to take things for granted.It's also great to have a date because it's like an "official" agreement towards starting a monogamous relationship with the other person.
When someone asks, I can say with confidence "We've been together for more than a year now."
Instead of something along the lines of "Well, I've been committed for maybe a year now, but he might tell you eight months or so, I'm not sure, it's how you view it"
Just not as satisfying to me, personally.
Do you think a date is important?
Or, do you consider it somewhat of a "label" that's not really needed?
Comments (22)
nah, setting a date and constantly reminding yourselves of how long it's been is too much looking back and not enough forward for me. maybe I'm just full of crap because my relationships could never be measured in whole years though.
there is strength with setting a date. being wishy-washy about things is weak-sauce!
this is why i think valentine's day is important. the wise guys choose to complain about it. my high school teacher said that he doesn't need a day to treat his wife special - everyday should be special. what i think is that guys may say things like that but guess what?! they don't do jack sh*t which is why we need days like anniversaries and valentine's days.
i think the official is important; it definitely shows commitment. i've been in a relationship where there wasn't an official date, and honestly, it just doesn't mean as much to me, and that's why i let go faster when it ended (then again, that probably worked in my favor).
What happened to the "Argh I have a hangover fuck off" Shi?
dates are important
haha.. that's totally cute. Makes me want to go celebrate my anniversary now. Somehow I remember my yearly date. But the monthly always slips my mind.... Okay, maybe this month.
It's really nice to see you're doing so well. Of course because you are in love, your posts are far less edgy than they were in the past, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Dates are precisely what you need, what could help everyone. It's just another step towards stability.
congratumacation's kim! if only i had a happy anniversary date i could celebrate =|
i think i need to find the relationship first, then i'll worry about a date =) really though, i think you should celebrate all your time together, but it is nice to have that one somewhat extra special day, isn't it?
love is overrated
an exact date is not really that important to guys, but i do think that after you're "official" it's good to have a date or symbolic date set, so you know around when to celebrate your togetherness.
Having a date is required in my book- very important aspect. What other excuse is there to be showered in love (and maybe a gift or two) at least once a year, but once a month is even better!
Not that you can't any other day- but the idea of an anniversary is sweet 
i know we've been through a lot together but i hope you know i still wish you the best and i'm happy for you and brent.
i don't think it's vital, but it's really cute to have.
and congrats!
your readers have some very interesting opinions.
Congratulations! My really cool nephew is named Brent.
I think it means something when you actually pick a date. Like you, with other guys I dated, I didn't even waste my time paying attention to when we started dating because I had no intention of ever staying together that long with them to celebrate anything. It's nice when you want to pick the date because it means something with this person. Happy Anniversary!
as long as your happy.
A date is a milestone, something to celebrate. Nothing makes more happiness than a celebration of it!
with beer!
"I'm sure he feels the same way too" seemed not that long ago, how a year flies.
As for a date, I think it's easier to have a date really and I think setting one really helps couples take time out when they get overwhelmed to appreciate each other. I guess it's best when they can show each other how much they care about each other everyday.